The Bay Leaf Condition

[Note bene: I wrote this in early November and found it today while looking through my drafts. I don't know why I never posted it. Anyway, ta da!]

After President Uchtdorf's wonderful remarks at the Relief Society Broadcast, the Parable of the Bay Leaf has become a household topic. In it, he describes his wife's ability to create wonderful and delicious meals, beautifully presented; but that she consistantly punctuates the creation with a comment such as, “I’m afraid I used a touch too much ginger,” or, “Next time, I think it would be better if I used a little more curry and one additional bay leaf.”

President Uchtdorf points out that as women, we may not appreciate the value of what we do in the world and more importantly who we are. These 'bay leaf' comments, while showing a desire to improve and create goodness and "perfection", may also clue us in to the fact that our focus is on a tiny fraction of the scene.

Enough with the generalizations.

I do this. Since my husband has pointed it out, I am amazed how frequently it occurs.

An example: I busted my butt making homemade whole-wheat bread sticks for a ward party. I juggled it between Nathanael's nap, picking up yeast when I discovered we were out, and the Halloween event that afternoon. I ran to and fro, keeping my perspective, and enjoying Nathanael all throughout the day. We finally were sitting at the party chatting and eating and I got my first bite. I said, "Oh! Next time I need to let them raise longer. It is so dense!"

Now, this was after several people had already complemented me and Nathanael was halfway through his (the ultimate complement). Michael pointed out my comment (in light of the bay leaf) and I was so surprised! I didn't even notice.

It is now becoming part of my personal culture to say things like, "Wow. I did a really great job on this!" And then I bite my tongue when I want to add my bay leaf comment.

I realize that our public culture doesn't allow for this type of comment. It doesn't expect it. And it doesn't fit into the model of self-depreciation as humility that we frequently buy into. But as I have trusted and taken the step to believe in myself--enough to verbalize it--I have felt peace.

Understanding

Nathanael is now in nursery, and so two hours of every week are spent entirely away from me. I'm not even sure who all the leaders are down there. So today a sister in the ward came up to me and told me that Nathanael made her laugh today. I asked what he did and she simply said, "We were just talking together."

I love it when people love my baby!


I also love it when he learns something new. It just clicks in his brain and I see his face light up. That's the best mom moment so far. Well, it ties with giggling tickles.

Lately most of the "light-up moments" have been new signs and words that he adds to his repertoire. Our old favorites: milk, more, please, (so cute! It consists of a sign that looks a lot more like the sign for 'bath' and sounds like 'bah, bah.' He likes to do the two-sign combo "more, please.") banana, bath. The newbies: thank you, mom, dad, eat, diaper. I think that's it. It seems like more when I see him do them! :)

New signs that I've learned: turn on/off the light, dog, horse, airplane, bird, Jesus, music, no (I've held out on this one!), sleep, home, bathroom, and extra emphasis on please, thank you, mom, and dad. :)

We're having a fun time and I can honestly say that his shrill yodels of distress are significantly decreased because of his new found communication skills!